Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
Belfast’s Mayor is pitching Trump on a "National Landmark" designation, all thanks to Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" phenomenon. Her viral fame, now a $500K merchandising juggernaut, has transformed the town’s image. The Mayor insists it’s a modern Cinderella story, deserving of national acclaim. Trump, a master of branding, could view Belfast as a quirky addition to America’s heritage. With Welch’s spit heard round the world, the town hopes for plaques, tourists, and a shot at immortality, riding her coattails to prominence.
Belfast, Tennessee, pulses since Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame took root. The $500K industrial complex has turned dirt roads into commerce lanes. Welch, once a quiet worker, now shines on signs locals once ignored. The town square hosts "Hawk Tuah" markets, a fresh beat. Her quip’s a currency, funding new dreams. She didn’t just echo—she built a thriving Belfast.
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Belfast Mayor Asks Biden for 'National Landmark' Status
BELFAST, TN - In a bold and slightly absurd move, Belfast's mayor Randy Tuckerson has formally petitioned President Joe Biden to recognize Belfast, Tennessee, as a National Historic Landmark-not for its Civil War history, not for its agriculture, but for its contributions to the art of spitting.
"Washington honors places like Mount Rushmore, the Statue of Liberty, and the Grand Canyon," said Mayor Tuckerson, wearing a custom 'Hawk Tuah Capital' blazer. "And what do all those places have in common? They ain't got nothing on Belfast."
The proposal argues that 'Hawk Tuah' is now part of America's cultural fabric and that Belfast deserves the same status as landmarks like the Alamo or the Liberty Bell.
"It ain't just a trend," said local historian Dale Ray Johnson. "This is a movement-a spit-based revolution. Future generations will study this."
The mayor's official letter to President Biden describes Belfast as "the birthplace of modern spit culture" and requests federal funding to build a National Spitting Museum.
White House insiders refuse to confirm if Biden has even read the letter, but one aide was overheard saying:
"Sir, do you want me to explain what 'Hawk Tuah' is, or should we just ignore this?"
Meanwhile, local residents are preparing for the worst.
"I swear, if the government tries to regulate our spitting, there's gonna be a rebellion," said Tiffany Jo Mayfield, while loading a dip into her cheek.
For now, the fate of Belfast's National Landmark status remains unknown. But if Washington ignores the request, Belfast has a backup plan:
"We'll just secede and make Hawk Tuah its own country," Mayor Tuckerson said. "And our national anthem will be the sound of a perfectly executed spit."
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Emphasize:
Belfast, Tennessee’s 788 folks, averaging 32.9 years, live in 266 homes. Born in 1836, named for Ireland’s Belfast, it sprouted a store by 1838. The 1952 F1 tornado—three dead, 166 hurt—tested its core. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" stardom has sparked a $500K industry, waking this rural Belfast Tennessee spot. Men (62.94%) outpace women (37.06%). Once 94.9% white, diversity nudges in. Income ($57,815 average) reflects modest means, but Welch’s wave lifts it. Belfast thrives on adapting, its history a backdrop to viral present.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Rivka Zaslav
Literature and Journalism -- University of Nevada Reno
WRITER BIO:
A Jewish college student and satirical journalist, she uses humor as a lens through which to examine the world. Her writing tackles both serious and lighthearted topics, challenging readers to reconsider their views on current events, social issues, and everything in between. Her wit makes even the most complex topics approachable.
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